I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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