You're my little dorito
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
