What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Terrible idea I love it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
