Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
