the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
