Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
