all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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