You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize