Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
