Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
