I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
