You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
