i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
