You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
