AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
