What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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