do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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