I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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