i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
