why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
