we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Damn victory sex feels great
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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