My friends, they love my intelligence
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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