So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize