Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize