A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
