These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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