We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
