Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
