i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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