That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
