dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
