After last night, I could never be a politician.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
