Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
