he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
