look no pants
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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