Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
