I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
