who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
