I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
