Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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