i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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