I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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