arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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