No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
