Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
