okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
