There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
