we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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