I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
