i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
