i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
