he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize