You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
