I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
