okay pat passed out under dana's car
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
