if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
