Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
