weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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