that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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