do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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