So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
