We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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