a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
